Sealand and Bookworm: The Stereotype Song
by LadyBookworm18
Summary: Sealand and I don't like not being noticed. So, Sealand thinks it would be a good idea to bust in the Conference Room and sing a special song. Normally I would like this idea, but the song isn't exactly... well, you'll see. Let's just say chaos and humour ensues. Read and review!


**Hi guys! So, I felt like posting a story: more specifically, a Hetalia story. I've read a few stories like these, and decided to write one. **

**Bold: Sealand**

_Italics:_** Me (LadyBookworm18, or Bookworm)  
**

**_Bold and Italics:_ Me and Sealand (Everybody at the end)**

**So, here we go!**

* * *

I inquired cautiously, "Sealand, I don't think we should be doing this."

My best friend, Sealand, and I were standing outside of the door to the World Meeting/Conference room.

Sealand and I weren't very similar: he had sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, filled to the brim with hope and confidence. Meanwhile, I had long curly brown hair and spectacled green eyes. Sealand was childish but friendly, and dreamed of the day where he would become a nation. Meanwhile, I was sarcastic and creative, and usually spent my days typing up fanfiction stories on my labtop. Sealand was oblivious and often referred to his older brother England as "jerks of jerks", while I was paranoid and had a small crush on England.

Sealand rolled his eyes. "Come on, Bookworm! Finally, the Nations will notice us!"

"Yes, but is this the best way to get their attention?" I nervously. "After all, this song is rather... er... stereotypical."

"That's the point!" Sealand stated. "Come on! Just do this, for me!"

I sighed. "Fine. But, when the Nations form an army and start attacking us, I'm not letting you hide in my basement..._ again._"

Sealand smiled happily. "Great! Now, on three. One..."

"Two...'' I counted reluctantly. "Two and a quarter... two and two quarters... two and three quarters... two and three point one quarters... two and three point two quarters..."

''THREE!'' Sealand yelled, and with that he slammed open the door to the Conference Room. I slowly walked in, the boombox in my hand. I blushed as the Nations stared at me- well, more like at Sealand. I'm not sure if it was because I was Canadian, or because I didn't stand out, but the Nations didn't always notice me.

''Sealand?'' I recognized that voice as England's. England stood up, glaring at him. ''Sealand, what are you doing here? You know that only Nations are allowed here!'' He lectured sternly.

''Well...'' Sealand trailed off. I sighed. _Figures_. This was his idea in the first place! Looks like I was going to have to step up.

''Hi, Iggy Brows!'' I greeted England. I then turned to the table full of Nations. ''We have a little song for you guys,'' I announced loudly. The Nations then seemed to notice me. They stared, confused, wondering what I was doing.

I stared pointedly at Sealand, who was having a glaring contest with England. ''Right, Sealand?''

My friend seemed to snap out of it. He grinned, and nodded. ''Yup! Me and Bookworm have been working on this for a while.'' Sealand stepped up onto the table. He held out a hand and helped me on, the Nations leaning back from the table.

''Vhat is zhe meaning of zhis?'' Germany demanded, getting to stand up, but Prussia quickly grabbed his arm and pulled his back down.

''Calm down, West,'' The albino snickered. ''Kesesese! This'll be good.'' He winked at us.

I took a deep breath, setting down the boombox. I took my microphone of out of hoodie's pocket, Sealand doing the same.

''**You know, I always thought stereotypes were kinda ridiculous.**'' Sealand stated.  
''_So,'_' I continued. ''_We wrote a song about it._''

''_**And it goes a little something like this.**_'' We chorused.

I pressed the button on the boombox. _Three... two... one._  
''_I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,_'' I sang, slightly nervous. I saw Japan blush. ''I-I do not rike that kind of stuff,'' He stammered, embarrassed.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these  
stereotypes.**_'' We sang together, me twirling a bit.  
''_Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,_'' I sang.

I saw India glare at us. ''MY WOMAN ARE BEAUTIFUL!'' He yelled. ''If anything, the English would have the unibrows!''  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes**__**.''**_ We sang, ignoring India. We danced a bit, becoming more confident.

''**Check it out now.**'' Sealand got into America's face. ''**I love those fat Americans!** '' America looked angry at this statement, while England bust out laughing.

'' **You know they so obnoxious. They always eating burgers, ****t****hey always holding shotguns.**''  
''_And I love Mexicans._'' I continued, winking at a nervous and slightly angry looking Mexico. ''_The way they mow my lawn. They all got a 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on._'' Mexico looked like he wanted to get up and strangle me. Spain was laughing, and he wasn't the only one.  
''**Uh huh.**'' Sealand nodded. '' '**Cause that's the way they roll.**''  
''_Ya gotta go big like an Israeli nose._'' I sang, pointing to Israel's nose. Israel just rolled his eyes.  
''_If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy,_'' I smiled at Ireland, who looked angry. ''**And they're out of control like a Chinese driver.**'' Scotland and England bust out laughing, Wales just smiled and shook his head, and Ireland was tomato red, glaring at us. China was indignant: ''I am not a bad driver, aru!'' He protested.  
''_I love the Middle East, but how do they handle,_''  
''**Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels.**'' Sealand grinned while Turkey just commented, ''Because we're awesome like that,'' Giving me and Sealand a high five. I made an ''_AIAIAIAIAI_'' sound.  
''_I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they cool,_''  
''**B****ut they're always high, so don't let them fool ya.**'' Sealand winked at a very angry looking Jamaica. ''I am not high!''  
''_**Ya mon.**_''  
''_And I love them Puerto Ricans,_''  
''**Even though they wash their ass about once a week and,**'' Sealand held up his hands, stopping an angry Puerto Rico from strangling him. ''**We're**** just joking.**''  
''_I__f you didn't know then __you're__ a little slow and you're probably from Poland._'' I sang.

Poland looked up, a dazed up on his face. ''Like, what did you say?''

''_**I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,**_'' Japan slid down in his seat, covering his face with his hands.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.**_'' We danced on the table.  
''_Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,_'' I sang, India's face once again turning red.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.**_'' We repeated.

''_**Check it out now.**_''  
''**Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell ****i****f you love the Outback redneck Australians,**'' England chuckled, while Australia snapped his pencil in half, face red.  
''_And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude, __a__nd those creepy Italians who think they're smooth. __Mamma mia!_''I added, smiling apologetically at N. Italy.

''Luddy, am I really creepy?'' He sniffled. Germany shook his head awkwardly. ''Er... no.'' He patted Italy's head. Meanwhile, Romano was as red as a tomato. ''WHY YOU TOMATO BITCH I'LL-'' He was cut off as Spain pulled him back down into his seat.

''Crooked ass teeth?'' England exclaimed angrily. ''How dare you! My teeth are perfectly straight!'' Scotland and Ireland started laughing. Scotland had to grab onto Wales' shoulder to stay on his chair, wales was merely smiling and chuckling.

''_And how could anyone hate the French._'' I saw France smile proudly.  
''**Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits.**'' That smile disappeared, and was replaced with denial. ''Non! That is false! My woman DO shave! Lies! All lies!'' He cried out.  
''**Brazilian girls is what you want, ****w****alking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk.**'' Somebody wolf whistled, while Brazil smiled, rolling her eyes, not at all offended.  
''_I love Africans, but hold up a second._'' I held up a hand.  
''**National Geographic says they're all butt-nekkid.**'' I saw Cameroon and some of the other African countries get up and start yelling at us, along with throwing objects such as knives and rocks, which we quickly dodged.  
''**Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes?**''  
''_They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose._'' Colombia scowled.  
''_Uh oh! You're all on my checklist, __e__ven Russian guys who drink Vodka for breakfast._'' I saw Russia nod. ''Is true, da?'' As he sipped some vodka.  
''**They're stereotypes, and if you believe them, ****t****hen your brain is small like a Korean's penis.**'' I saw Korea sputter. ''My penis is not small!'' He protested, pouting, arms crossed.

''_I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,_'' Some Nations, like Prussia, America, North Italy, etc, got up on the table and started dancing with us.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.**_'' The dancing Nations sang along.  
''_Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,_'' India's eye twitched.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.**_''

I took a deep breath. ''_**All together now!**_'' We all lined up in front of Scotland, who was still laughing at England.  
''_**I love Scotsmen, though they hump sheep.**_'' Scotland's jaw dropped. His brothers started laughing, even Wales. England fell to the ground, uncharacteristically rolling across the floor with laughter. Scotland scowled and kicked England in the stomach, and the Brit got back into his chair, still chuckling.

'' _**I love Scotsmen, though they hump sheep. I love Scotsmen, though they hump sheep!**_''

Scotland started looking angry as we sang, ''**They hump sheep, they hump sheep, they hump sheeeep!**'' Me doing jazz hands.

''_**I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,**_'' By now everyone was singing (Especially America, who was belting out the lyrics like it was his National Anthem), except an annoyed Germany, an embarrassed Japan, and an angry Scotland and Ireland and Korea and England.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these stereotypes.**_'' All of the Nations except those mentioned above had gotten up on the table and were dancing with us.  
''_**Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,**_'' India, who had also gotten up to dance with us, looked slightly upset, but didn't say anything.  
''_**And we should dance dance dance dance dance to these stereotypes.**_''  
The music stopped, and the Nations slowly got sat back down- except for Germany, Japan, Scotland, Ireland, and Korea. Those Nations were standing up, very angry looks on their faces. They slowly advanced towards us.

I gulped, my confidence gone. ''S-Sealand, we should leave.''

Sealand nodded, and we jumped off the table, running out of the room. Suddenly, I stopped, a grin on my face. I peeked back into the conference room and called out, '' _Yeah, I'm just playing, you know I __love you guys. ... But, seriously, don't hump any sheep._''  
And with that the chase began; Sealand and I running for our lives, the mentioned Nations right behind us.

* * *

**So, how was that? **

**Yes, in my stories Brazil is a girl. Ireland is a girl as well; she has long, dark brown/black hair, light skin with some freckles, and green eyes. Scotland has red hair and green eyes, and is a boy. Wales is also a boy, and has ash blonde hair and blue/green eyes, and is the calmest and most intelligent of the siblings.**

**How did you like it? Read and review, no flames! **

**Disclaimers: If I owned Hetalia, Canada wouldn't be ignored so often. So, no, I don't own Hetalia. I also don't own the song. I do, however, own myself and my house.**


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